You ‘Oughta Be in Pictures
Copyright 2003 by Suzy Wurtz
Recently, a group of 16 women who worked
in a Minnesota school’s lunchroom shared a big lottery prize. With a grin, my
husband handed me a picture of the “lunch ladies” in the Minneapolis Star
Tribune, and I shouted, “Hey, the newspaper took my game!”
The picture of the 16 winners was accompanied by small photo
insets of current actresses who could conceivably play the part of each winner
if the story was made into a movie. The “Casting Call If My Life Was A Movie”
game is one of my favorite amusements.
My participation in the pastime started over 20 years ago,
when I traveled to a Southern state to attend the wedding of a friend’s
childhood buddy. We were expecting a Lutheran wedding, followed by good food,
merriment, and a lively party with music. The groom neglected to tell his
Midwestern family and friends that he had joined his fiancé’s fundamentalist
sect, which abhorred drinking, dancing, and as far as we could tell, merriment
in general.
Though pleased that our friend found happiness, we were
disappointed for ourselves that our plans for a spirited wedding bash had
evaporated. Then, the minister exhorted the bride to “submit” so many times
during the service that my good manners and impulse control were seriously
tested.
Shortly after the ceremony, since my teeth were ground nearly
to the gum from those good manners, my companion suggested that we cast the
“movie” of the event with actors of the time. With pen in hand, I enjoyed the
rest of the weekend with delightful casting observations, which ran the gamut
from Robert Redford to Boris Karloff, and from Goldie Hawn to Joan Crawford. We
recreated the scenes and laughed until tears ran down our faces. Kathleen
Turner, popular siren of that time, would play my character, of course.
Over the years, when someone really irritated me, I could take a step back and
think, “Hmm. Who would play him the movie?” Choices among Jimmy Stewart,
Jiminy Cricket, Jim Belushi, Jim Carey and Jim Nabors always made me laugh and
lifted the seriousness of my irritation to a new reality.
A few years ago, I playfully asked my husband who should
portray him in the movie of our lives, if ever one was made. It didn’t take him
long.
“Ed Harris,” he replied, choosing the fine character actor of
great depth and a balding pate.
“What a coincidence!” I exclaimed. “After Amy Madigan starred
in Field of Dreams, people often told me that I reminded them of her.
And she’s Ed Harris’s wife! Wow. I bet they’d be interested in starring in our
life story because they could work together!”
My husband smiled at my delusions of grandeur. But my game
had begun another incarnation.
When asked, my brother-in-law suavely suggested Patrick
Swayze for his role.
“No, Abe Vigoda!” quipped my husband, as the room erupted
with laughter. I mentioned that we should probably only consider living actors
in the event that this film really happened.
One of the game’s pitfalls is assuming that your friend is a
Radar O’Reilly when he thinks he’s Hawkeye Pierce. Later in the weekend, when
my petite friend suggested that Catherine Zeta Jones should portray her, an
involuntary laugh escaped me.
“What’s so funny about that?” she demanded.
“Uh, Zeta-Jones is so…..tall,” I stammered. I mentioned the
casting choice to her husband later, and his reaction was the same involuntary
guffaw. Then he and I were BOTH in trouble. But the couple later happily
agreed that Christopher Guest and Parker Posey (Best In Show) would be
chosen for their characters.
Do you see how this game is played? Get out a pencil and
paper. Gather the family around and cast yourselves and others in the movie of
your life.
It’s a great car trip game, too, but be sure to think before
speaking. It’s not smart to cast Phyllis Diller or Michael Jackson as anyone
you will be riding with in a car for 6 hours.
And if you want to know who I think will portray you….well,
maybe you shouldn’t ask.
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